Dear Diary, Signed Jean Grey
by scififreak
Summary: An entry from the diary of Jean, Ororo, Scott, Logan, Prof. X and Marie !
1. Dear Diary, Signed Jean Grey

  
  


Dear Diary, Signed Jean Grey.

  
  


Summary: An entry from the diary of Jean Grey. The first of my Dear Diary series. 

  
  


Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men Marvel comics does. And the movie is the property of Fox studios and Marvel. If you sue me the only thing of value you will get is autographed celebrity. pictures including one of James Marsden (Go Scott!)! 

  
  


Note: If these characterizations seem "off" remember that these are their "true" selves talking. A journal/diary is where the person behind the facade gets to express themselves. So these are the Men and Women behind the X (so to speak). LOL. 

  
  


A/N: I must also say that although this one is rather humorous the rest may not be. This one just became funny as I wrote it but it was intended to be much more serious. So I will adjust the tone for each X Man/Woman. You will understand more if/when you read the next entry in the series.

  
  


Dear Diary,

  
  


I am mild mannered science teacher Jean Grey by day, mutant super-hero...Jean Grey by night. Ok, I'm not Batgirl or Wonderwoman. I'm not anything like the comic book super-heroes with sidekicks and cool catch phrases. I don't even have a super-hero/code name like the rest of the team! I suppose I don't have any talents impressive enough to merit a code name. Well, that and Psychic Girl and Telepathic Woman sound really stupid. The Professor did give me the name Marvel Girl a long time ago but that doesn't work anymore for two reasons: 1. I am no longer a girl. 2. It's so vague it could be anyone. So my regular name is Jean and my code name is Jean. I always tell myself it could be worse, my code name could be Cyclops! I have always found that name to be mildly insulting but if Scott can live with that I can live with "Jean."

  
  


The description "mild mannered scientist" fits me perfectly. Quiet, shy, and timid Jean is who everyone thinks I am but they don't know the real me, the real Jean. I started this journal to let the "real" me live on these pages. The "real" me as opposed to the really real me (don't ask) is a fearless and courageous hero whom everyone looks up to. That Jean isn't afraid of being a failure, she believes in herself one hundred percent; she's who I want to be. 

  
  


Everyone thinks that I have everything anyone could ever want: friends who would die for you, A boyfriend who is loyal and handsome, advanced degrees and a great job, and even looks (so people tell me). But no one knows what it's like to be the perfect Jean they all envision. I keep up the illusion by walking around acting cool and confident to everyone even as I feel anything but perfect inside.

  
  


Let me explain exactly what I mean. Professor Xavier started the X-Men and the school. He is also a surrogate father and mentor to me. He is the most powerful telepath on earth and I'm...you guessed it, his protege. Here's where that whole sense of failing comes in. No one has ever believed in me like the professor has. He has the upmost confidence in me and I know one day I will fail him. When he's gone I will have to try and carry on the dream that he started. The school... the team...it will be up to me to keep it all together. He's not a young man and everyday I worry that he will be gone before I am ready...and what will I do then? No one knows that this is my worst fear. Compared to my fears of inadequacy my other fears: Hatred, Magneto, big hair, and spandex; seem very small. 

  
  


Pushing all that aside I have a more pressing problem on my hands-the first half of the problem is named Scott, the second half, Logan. Who are they you ask? They're fellow teachers/teammates also known as Cyclops and Wolverine. Scott is the 'loyal and handsome' boyfriend I mentioned before. Alright, you must be thinking what's the problem with these two. Well, I am the problem. Quiet and shy Jean wants loyal and safe Scott. But courageous and self- confident Jean wants wild and dangerous Logan. And they both want quiet and shy Jean. Sound confusing? Try living it. Me wanting both of them while with one of them isn't fair to either one (Ugh, shy Jean is a lot more articulate than diary Jean). I want Logan but I love Scott. I can't choose until I know who I really am. But when I choose which Jean I want to be will either one of them want that Jean? I have been with Scott so long that to break up with him for a fling with some unpredictable mutant I hardly know seems almost unthinkable. Sometimes though I want to do the unthinkable and throw caution and good sense to the wind! My life is already a soap opera but if I turn "bad" and decide to have them both, at the same time....I would be ready for prime time! Melrose place would have nothing on our mansion! As entertaining as that sounds it would never happen. I'm too nice (I admit it) to ever do something like that-intentionally at least. There are too many risks there. Our lives depend on us working as a team, this would split it right down the middle. So what shall I do? *Get some ice cream-chocolate* Excellent idea.

  
  


Well, it's 1 am and I have a ton of work tomorrow. I have got classes to teach, papers to grade, training to do (mental and physical), and it's my turn to lead the mentor group with the kids...why, why, why, me?! This is disgraceful! Super-hero Jean wouldn't complain she would carry on like a trooper with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye...but right now I am not super-hero Jean, I am tired and stressed out Jean who is choosing to whine and pout like a little kid. Yin and Yang, two sides of one whole, perhaps there is room in the world and this mansion for both Jeans. Ok, this is it for tonight but tomorrow....Scott is snoring-again, hmm that's one more check on my Scott versus Logan list.

  
  


Signed, 

  
  


Jean Grey

Please review!! 


	2. Dear Diary, Signed Ororo Munroe

Dear Diary, Signed Ororo Munroe.

Summary: An entry from the diary of Ororo Munroe. The second of my Dear Diary series. 

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men Marvel comics does. And the movie is the property of Fox studios and Marvel. If you sue me the only thing of value you will get is autographed celebrity. pictures including one of James Marsden (Go Scott!)! 

  
  


Note: If these characterizations seem "off" remember that these are their "true" selves talking. A journal/diary is where the person behind the facade gets to express themselves. So these are the Men and Women behind the X (so to speak). LOL. 

  
  


Dear Diary, 

  
  


I feel rather silly addressing a diary as if it were a person and not an inanimate object, but if I imagine you (see, I am doing it already) as a person I can confide in I will, perhaps, be able to put on paper what I could never say aloud. I know that the logical question following that statement is: why do I not confide in my friends and teammates? The answer is: I must maintain a certain image-my goddess persona. I have to be the serene, calm, and above all-controlled woman that they all know as Storm. To let myself go and give in to my emotions and primal instincts would mean grave consequences for everyone around me. When ones actions and feelings affect those around them, one is much more careful of them-they have to be.

  
  


Being a mutant, I have noticed, causes a pronounced case of caution in those that are mutants. By this I mean that mutants have to always be careful of their actions because their gifts could possibly harm others. Thus, Jean is shy, the professor is reserved, Scott is perfectly controlled, Logan is prone to running, and Marie is withdrawn and insecure. These are all well developed and established ways they cope with their abilities and attempt to protect themselves and others. I am no exception to this tendency. I know people see me as cold and aloof but they do not understand that because of my ability to control the weather I must keep my emotions in check at all times. 

  
  


It hurts to know that everyone accepts my "ice queen" persona without trying to understand why I have it. I have feelings and emotions but unlike the others I do not have the freedom to express them. How I long to give in to the fire in my soul and scream in anger, ecstasy, sorrow, and joy. I dream of one day throwing caution to the wind and letting go-oh, how the earth would know my power then! People would probably think that the second coming of Christ was upon them! Yes, I know that sounds very egotistical but I will drop the " I am so humble" routine for a moment and admit that yeah, being a Goddess rocks (for lack of a better expression)!! Being worshiped, admired, and needed keeps the ego well fed, and if anyone says differently they are lying. It is very important to remember that you are not invincible or deserving of that which others are not. This is what has kept me from declaring myself queen of the world or something like that. I am a woman, granted, a woman with extraordinary gifts but just a woman none-the-less.

  
  


This is one thing that all X-Men and women can understand and relate to. They must struggle to remain humble in spite of the fact that they have great gifts and these gifts make them feel superior and different. Different is good or bad depending on your state of mind and development. Different is bad when you first discover your powers, all you want to be is normal like everyone else. But when you have perfected your powers and accept who you are different is wonderful. You celebrate your individuality and power, normal is mundane. I began to see different as good when I was in Africa and I realized that my gift enabled me to help people and do things that others could only dream about.

  
  


Ok, enough about my powers, now on to some very "normal" things that have been bothering me for a while-relationships in the mansion. Jean is one of my best friends...Scott is another one of my best friends, and Logan is my teammate and a potentially good friend. Together they form a complicated love triangle. 

  
  


Jean is beautiful, incredibly smart, alluring, and quiet. Men have always fallen for her and it was no surprise to me that Scott and Logan fell for her as well. He does not say anything but I know that Scott is afraid of losing her. Outwardly he may appear cool and calm, but inwardly he is quite sensitive and wears his heart on his sleeve. I do not want to imply that Jean leads men on, but I know that she enjoys the attention that she gets from them. Her greatest trick is appearing that she does not care and/or that the attention embarrasses her. I am so afraid that Logan or Scott will get their hearts broken when she chooses one of them over the other. I am actually more afraid for Scott though, I have a feeling that he may be the runner up in this contest and it will be particularly devastating for him due to his sensitive nature and the depths of his feelings for Jean.

  
  


I do envy her. Not her situation, but her capacity to be seen. I am not jealous, nor do I wish to be Jean Grey, but I do wish that people would talk TO me instead of about me; and I wish that men would glance my way when we are in a room together. I also wish that people would ask me how I am doing instead of me asking them how THEY are doing. Oh, well, I do not want to make it seem that I am completely unhappy or unsatisfied with my life, quite the contrary, I love what I do and the people I live with. I just wish some things could be different but I suppose no one is completely satisfied with their life.

  
  


I think I should finish this up now. I have a class that will be filing in here shortly and I just saw Scott walk by my door. He is looking so melancholy and sullen these days. I truly believe that it is wrong of Jean to string him along like this until she decides who she wants. It breaks my heart to see someone I really care about experiencing so much pain. I will go to him and offer him a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on (metaphorically speaking) if he needs it. So until the morrow parting is such sweet sorrow...one knows that they spend too much time being a teacher when they speak in verse and incorporate Shakespeare into their everyday language! I will now bid you adieu (might as well embrace it) until tomorrow diary. 

  
  


Signed, 

  
  


Ororo Munroe

  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Dear Diary, Signed Scott Summers

Dear Diary, Signed Scott Summers.

Summary: An entry from the diary of Scott Summers. The third of my Dear Diary series. 

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men Marvel comics does. And the movie is the property of Fox studios and Marvel. If you sue me the only thing of value you will get is autographed celebrity. pictures including one of James Marsden (By the way... James, who I met in June 2000 is super nice!)! 

  
  


Note: If these characterizations seem "off" remember that these are their "true" selves talking. A journal/diary is where the person behind the facade gets to express themselves. So these are the Men and Women behind the X (so to speak). LOL. 

Dear Diary or Dear Journal,

I feel kind of weird writing "Dear Diary" as the heading of this entry. I know I am being silly, it IS a diary after all. I suppose that I just feel silly writing a journal/diary at all, but the professor told us that writing our feelings down will help us to understand them better. I trust the professor's opinion and advice above all others so here I am, writing my first entry in my brand-new journal (book courtesy of the professor as well). 

  
  


My feelings... I am supposed to write about what I am feeling. So here goes nothing: I-Feel-Misunderstood. And not in some tortured artist kind of way either. The people I am supposed to be closest to-Jean, the professor, and my team mates don't seem to get me most of the time. 

  
  


They see me as some uptight-no fun having- Nazi. I know what they say about me and call me behind my back and it hurts-a lot. I am not morally opposed to having fun or a good time but letting go is hard for me. I didn't have much fun or reason for laughter growing up in an orphanage and as field leader of the X-Men I have lots of responsibility and worries that force me to keep this persona. The professor understands this although he tells me to "lighten up" on occasion. Ororo is the only person who understands this part of me I think. She, like myself, can't let go ( for different reasons of course) and she is co-leader of the X-Men and thus gets the responsibility thing. It's easy to be flippant and have fun when you're not making the tough decisions. As Hercules said, "I have a sense of humor...I just exercise it wisely."Yeah, I watched the show when it was on. You would think that as a "super-hero" watching heroes on tv would be boring since we do the real thing. I like watching the heroes on tv because unlike us, people cheer and express gratitude when they save the day. We are lucky if they don't call the cops on us-after we've saved them from some impending doom that is. 

  
  


Ok, but enough of my beef with my image. I have bigger problems to deal with. Actually, my only real problem is about 6'2 and goes by one name: Logan. How Cher or Madonna like. I know that I shouldn't say this but I actually regret saving his life. Ever since he came into the picture he has given me nothing but grief. He's surly, rude, and a world class jerk. He knows that Jean and I are together but does that stop him from pursuing her? NO! What's worse is that I think Jean actually has feelings for him! What is it about the great Logan that has women tripping over themselves to get his attention...Jean, Marie (well, he did save her so hers is understandable- I guess), Kitty, Jubes...and every other person with XX chromosomes in the mansion. The only woman who doesn't blush in his presence is Ororo, which makes me ecstatic because that proves that he isn't irrestible to women-they are all just crazy. Ororo is nice to him and everything (She deserves a medal for the effort involved) but she doesn't take his attitude or stutter when he speaks to her. This isn't a surprise however, Ororo is sophistication, grace and beauty whereas he is animalistic, unrefined and creepy...yeah, creepy is definitely the right word. I think her detachment is what attracts him, the more offhanded she is the more attentive he is. She'll never give in though, she deserves the best and could do so much better than some Canadian reject. 

  
  


I wish I knew what to do. I am the team leader so I have to be objective and put my feelings for muttonchops aside. But it's so hard when he's walking around and breathing the same air as me. I think the Professor was right, I feel better already. Venting your frustrations on paper is kinda cool. I can say anything about him that I want and still maintain my "I'm above it all" look. But now I have to end this tirade, Ororo suggested we go into the city to see a play; that way we will have something better to do than watch Logan brood. 

  
  


Oh, man, it is 6:30 pm already! The show starts at 8 and I have to get dressed and meet Ororo downstairs at 7:15. We are dressing to impress tonight. Let everyone drool over us tonight! I am actually really excited and nervous at the same time. It's been a long time since I just stopped worrying about something and had fun. I hope Ororo doesn't look at my nervousness and think I look like some 16 year old prom date from hell...that's it, that corsage I bought for her stays in the fridge!

  
  


Signed,

  
  


Scott Summers

  
  


A/N: Chapter 4: Dear Diary, Signed Logan is coming soon! I am working on it as you read. Don't forget to review!


	4. Dear Diary, Signed Logan

Dear Diary, Signed Logan. 

  
  


Summary: An entry from the diary of Logan-yeah, he has one too! The fourth entry of my Dear Diary series.

  
  


Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men Marvel comics does. And the movie is the property of Fox studios and Marvel. If you sue me the only thing of value you will get is autographed celebrity. pictures including one of James Marsden! I also do not own the Wizard of Oz or Disney's Mulan.

  
  


Note: If these characterizations seem "off" remember that these are their "true" selves talking. A journal/diary is where the person behind the facade gets to express themselves. So these are the Men and Women behind the X (so to speak). LOL. 

  
  


Dear Diary, 

  
  


I am a freakin' fairy who writes in a diary! Chuck thought it would help "clear my head" yeah, and One Eye doesn't need to be oiled everyday 'Oil can! Oil can!' His theme song is probably "If I only had a personality." Ok, if I have to watch the Wizard of Oz with Marie one more time I'm gonna try with all my might to kill myself! I have a sinking feeling that she is gonna show up on Halloween dressed like Dorothy with a Cowardly lion costume in her hand that just happens to be my size. What's even scarier is that if she did show up with the costume I would probably grit my teeth and wear it. I would do anything for that kid. She is the closest thing to family I imagine I have had in a long time. Marie and I get along so well because she is the only person in the mansion who, I know, accepts me for who and what I am. Chuck accepts me "as is" too but even he has certain expectations of me. No, Marie, she doesn't expect anything of me and she accepts me 100%. People like that are rare "The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all." Let me mention again how much tv I watch with Marie. Mulan is her favorite Disney movie, the whole-girl against the world overcoming outstanding odds and saving the day thing- appeals to her.

  
  


It's strange, Marie is the reason why I met these people and came to the mansion in the first place- and she is also the reason why I stay. Now, if you asked One Eye or 'Ro they would say Jean is the reason why I stay. I do feel... strongly for Jean but love, that I ain't too sure about. She's really kind, a good listener and beautiful but gettin' close to people isn't somethin' I like to do. I even keep Marie at bay. I almost killed her once before and I won't let that happen again.

  
  


Ro says the way I "antagonize" The Stump and "entice" Jean is "deplorable" ('Ro's words not mine). Everyone needs a freakin' hobby. Some guys fish, I act like an asshole. Both are equally fulfilling. It's all worth it to see that jaw clench and those fists ball up, or those cheeks blush and feel that body temperature rise. I know it's "mean" (Marie's word) to play with Jean's emotions but it's ain't like she seriously wants me or would leave Limp Dick. It's as much a game to me as it is to her. She ain't as innocent as she would have everyone think. If only Cyke could see the way she slowly unfastens her top button, the way she runs her hands over her body to smooth out invisible wrinkles, or the sinfully slow way she eats strawberries while staring you in the eye...when noone else is around of course. Yeah, that woman is as tempting at that damn apple in the Garden of Eden. Resisting it is just as much fun as giving in. 

  
  


I do love the chase, it's the animal in me. The more they resist the more I want to make them surrender. The bigger challenge in the mansion is 'Ro. She makes me change my whole approach. 'Ro can't be tempted like Jean, I have no doubt that Jean will one day surrender to me or have a moment of weakness, no, with Ro I have to get on her "good side" and try an get her to see me as a "good guy." This is kinda hard cause no matter where 'Ro is Cyke is lurkin' nearby! He is like the self-appointed protector of all women from the Big Bad Logan. I go to the library-he is there "recommending" a book to her, I go to the kitchen-he's getting her a "snack," I go to the greenhouse-he's "moving" some bags of fertilizer for her! Noone is THAT much of a concerned "friend"! He's up to somethin,' I know it. But trying to keep 'Ro and Jean from me is fighting a war on two fronts. He's gonna have to eventually pick one side and stick with it. It'll be interestin' to see whose side he chooses. 

  
  


That's another reason why I stay here-the game. This whole mansion is in on it. The rules are made up as we go along, the participants are unpredictable, the battlefields vary, the objective constantly changes, and it's all unspoken. That's the way I like to play! Chuck reminds me of the referee who knows what's going on but looks the other way. He sees all the foul plays, dirty tricks, and rule bendin' but is willing to let the "players" deal with it themselves. 

  
  


Haha, Jean just came to me and asked me to help her "supervise the kids in the P.E. class." Swimming class, that is. She and I both know she could use her powers to save a kid without even getting wet! Just a wave of her hand would have them out of the water. I'm sure it ain't a coincidence that she walked in wearing a thigh high bathing suit with her towel around her neck instead of around her waist. But I will be goin' now...can't keep my red haired siren waiting. 

  
  


Signed,

  
  


Logan


	5. Dear Diary, Signed Charles Xavier

Dear Diary, Signed Charles Xavier

  
  


Summary: An entry from the diary of Charles Xavier. The fifth entry in my Dear Diary series.

  
  


Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men Marvel comics does and the movie is property of Marvel and Fox Studios. If you sue me the only thing of value you will get is autographed celebrity pictures including one of James Marsden!

  
  


Note: If these characterizations seem "off" remember that these are their "true" selves talking. A journal/diary is where the person behind the facade gets to express themselves. So these are the Men and Women behind the X (so to speak). LOL. 

  
  


AN: I didn't say so before because it wasn't so important but I am saying it now. In this series I am assuming that the Professor is in his early fifties and that Scott, Jean and Ororo are in their early thirties. That's how they looked in the movie and the plot make more sense if they are older. 

  
  


Dear Diary,

  
  


I have noticed a remarkable change in my X-Men since I suggested that they each keep a journal of their day to day activities and feelings. They were all reluctant to put their feelings on paper, Logan most of all, but since doing so they all seem to be more relaxed and open. When I see one of them intently writing in their journal I often wonder what they are writing about. I am sometimes tempted to briefly scan their minds and find out for myself but that would be a violation of trust and I do not abuse my powers. I just wish that they felt that they could talk to me about personal matters. Although, some things are so obvious that one need not be a telepath to see what's going on. 

  
  


First of all, everyone knows about the love triangle between Logan, Jean and Scott. On the outside I stay neutral and say that I love all my people and students equally but privately that's not entirely true. I like and adore them all but I love only a few of them. For instance, I like Logan and Marie but it's Ororo, Scott and Jean that have my heart. I see them hurt one another, fall in and out of love with each other, comfort each other, and most importantly, discover who they are and what they stand for. Knowing that I have had a hand in turning them into the amazing people they are today is very gratifying. 

  
  


Jean, I love her like a daughter but I am not blind to anything she does. As far as Logan and Scott go she plays both sides from the middle. She wants them both so she is in no hurry to decide between them. She's shy, but incredibly smart. Jean knows that men think she's beautiful and that combined with her shy delicate flower like personality makes her irresistible. 

  
  


Scott is so loyal and sensitive, it breaks my heart to see him suffering so much. He feels that as co-leader of the team it's his place to maintain the dignity of the team. At least that's what he tells himself. I suspect that he doesn't fight for Jean because he is afraid of the humiliation and pain that will come when he inevitably loses her to Logan. And yes, I do think that he will lose her to Logan. 

  
  


Ororo, my dear Ororo, she thinks that she is invisible to everyone in the mansion. She is quiet dignity, grace personified and the epitome of beauty. Unlike Jean and Scott I didn't find Ororo until she was an adult. Thus, I can't help thinking of Jean and Scott as my children but I have always seen Ororo as my equal. She is my confidante, best friend and more. Sometimes I think she is the feminine version of myself- and vice versa. We are both introspective, quiet, avid readers, nature lovers....if I list all of our similarities I would need a lot more paper. The point is that Ororo isn't invisible. She is like the elements she commands: necessary, needed..and missed if absent. I see her pain and loneliness and I want to tell her that she isn't invisible-but I can't. If I tried to put into words what I have just written I fear I would give away the secret I have been hiding for over a decade...I love her, or more specifically, I am In love with her. 

  
  


She will never know that I love her because I will never tell her so. She doesn't feel the same way about me and telling her would make her feel awkward in my presence. I would never put our friendship on the line like that. But truthfully, if I thought for an instant that she saw me as more than her "dear friend Charles" or "the Professor" I would risk making a fool out of myself and pursue my goddess wholeheartedly. 

  
  


But, alas, she is not in love with me and well, that's alright. It is enough being around her everyday and having the honor of calling myself her friend. Besides, I have a strong feeling that she and Scott have intense feelings for each other. They think that they are just close friends but close friends make the best lovers and they are quite suited to one another actually. Seeing both of them happy would make me happy. I cannot stand to see the people I love in pain and Scott and Ororo are most definitely in pain.

  
  


So, this is how it will be, I will sit back and watch from afar as everything I know will happen takes place. Trying to do the right thing Scott will break up with Jean and tell her to be with Logan if it makes her happy. It will kill him to be the better person but Ororo will be there to comfort him and they will see what is right in front of them. Jean will give her heart to Logan and have it broken when he finds himself falling in love with her and subsequently runs away from that love. I see dark days ahead for my beloved X-Men but as always I will be there for them as their teacher, confidante, father, leader and friend. 

  
  


I would like to write more but it will have to wait until tomorrow. Ororo's book club is meeting in the library and I don't want to be late. This week we are discussing A Midsummer Night's Dream...how ironic. When I read that play I can't help but think of this mansion. Hopefully, we have a happy ending like the play does. All is well that ends well. 

  
  


Signed,

  
  


Charles Xavier


	6. Dear Diary, Signed Marie

Dear Diary, Signed Marie

  
  


Summary: An entry from the diary of Marie. The fifth and most likely last entry in my Dear Diary Series.

  
  


Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men Marvel comics does. And the movie is the property of Fox studios and Marvel. If you sue me the only thing of value you will get is autographed celebrity. pictures including one of James Marsden!

  
  


Note: If these characterizations seem "off" remember that these are their "true" selves talking. A journal/diary is where the person behind the facade gets to express themselves. So these are the Men and Women behind the X (so to speak). LOL. 

  
  


Dear Diary, 

  
  


Nice to meet ya. I've been keeping a diary for years so it wasn't a big deal when the professor asked us all to try using one. This book reminds me of the professor and the mansion actually; classy and high-priced. Everything is done in a big way here; rare paintings, expensive furniture, high-tech equipment...but most of all- big personalities. You get a bunch of people with extraordinary powers together in one house (even if it is a mansion) and look out! I'm not saying that they all have big egos, because they don't, but they do each have strongly distinctive personalities that aren't necessarily compatible with everyone else's. 

  
  


First of all, let me start with Jean. Quiet, understanding, nice, perfect....well, at least that is the common opinion of our resident doctor. She seems to have her act down pact but I don't buy it. I'm not saying that she isn't any of those things I mentioned, she is, but she is a whole lot more too. 

  
  


All of Logan's traits I picked up when he saved my life are gone and I am back to being quiet, shy... invisible Marie. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, I like being invisible. When you're invisible you see a whole lot more than you're supposed to. 

  
  


So, getting back to Jean...I see the things that make her less than perfect. For example, the whole Logan/Jean/Scott triangle makes me sick! She is totally playing both of them while she decides which one she wants. I can't stand to see Scott and Logan used and hurt by her. Bitch. Okay, you may be thinking that I am so hard on Jean because I'm jealous of her...well, maybe I am. She's smart, beautiful, universally adored (except by yours truly) and has everything I could ever want. But, that's not why I dislike her, I dislike her because she's devious. If you are one thing be that, don't put all this energy into being someone else. If she wants Logan she should just be with him and stop acting like she doesn't want him flirting with her when everyone is around but welcome it when they are (seemingly) alone. Let Scott find someone else and be done with it. All the tension and drama in this house is old and tired.

  
  


You know, the only one in that triangel I feel sorry for is Scott. He's so nice and gentle. Most of the other students think that he is a stiff hard-ass who only cares about rules, but that's not true. They mistake reservation for stiffness and order for hard-assness (yeah, I know it's not a word). Ororo is the same way. The kids think she's stuck up and cold, God, they are so stupid. Obviously, they've never tried or had to hide in plain sight. Because of my gift/curse I know *all* about hiding who you are from the world. The kids don't understand but the adults and I do. Ororo's "coldness," Scott's "stiffness," Jean's "shyness," Logan's "gruffness," my "invisibility,"...all ways to hide in plain sight and keep people from getting too close. 

  
  


Ugh, Ok, I don't hate Jean-I can't. Truthfully, even though I don't like what she does, she has been nice to me. She was there for me when I was depressed (once again) about my powers. That's what sucks about life: You can't just hate or like someone, they have to have traits that you like and traits that you hate making your opinion of them complicated and murky. *sigh*

  
  


The same thing with Logan. He just up and leaves when he wants and most of time is an asshole- but I still love him. I know I'm the only one that he lets relatively close to him and I feel privileged to have that honor but...it hurts to be that close and still an arms length away. He will never look at me the way he looks at Jean. I will always be the little sister he never had (or maybe did have you never know with Logan). But, if that is all I can have, I'll take it. Besides, he may one day wake up an realize that I'm here and I love him more than she ever could-or would.

  
  


Ugh, that is so pathetic! I am pining away for a man that loves someone else and sees me as his little sister! Seriously, I need to move on. I know Bobby likes me and I just may give him a chance. I mean, he's nice and cute sooo... why not? I will have to get a little over Logan first, of course. If I went for Bobby but was waiting for Logan that would make me no better than Jean. And, I'm sorry to say, I *am* better than that. Ok, no more Jean bashing! I swear! I really do like all my teachers/leaders, that one thing about her just bugs me, though. 

  
  


Ok, it is now 4 pm and I want to grab a sandwich before I meet the professor at 4:30. Three days a week we get together and work on trying to control my powers. We work for 2 hours and it leaves me totally exhausted. I have to have a 30 min. nap before dinner just to get some energy back.. But the professor says all my hard work will pay off when I am able to touch just like anyone else. I long for that day and thus endure the brain drain.

  
  


So, Diary, I will see you tomorrow-same time, same place, same drama. *deep sigh*

  
  


Signed, 

  
  


Marie

  
  


P.S. I seriously hope that Jean doesn't telepathically scan the mansion from time to time...she could have totally heard me call her a bitch! Oops. Oh, well, what I said about her probably isn't half as bad as what they say or think about each other.

  
  


A/N: OH, God, I finally finished this series! For some reason it took me forever to write this last part. Sorry to all of you that were waiting for the third part. Please R/R even though you are probably pissed that it took me forever to write this last part! Pleasseee!!!!!


End file.
